


Where the Loyalty Lies

by plaidshirtjimkirk



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Confessions for okichi, Established Relationship for toshisami, F/M, Father-Son Relationship for kondo and okita, M/M, Toshisami, everyone's back in edo, kondo is a cinnamon roll, konhiji, okichi - Freeform, okita is sick but chizuru is looking after him, post-battle of toba fushimi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidshirtjimkirk/pseuds/plaidshirtjimkirk
Summary: Before leaving for the battle of Koufu Castle, Kondo pays a visit to the house Okita and Chizuru are staying in to see their faces one last time.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshizou/Kondou Isami (Hakuouki), Kondou Isami & Okita Souji (Hakuouki), Kondou Isami & Yukimura Chizuru (Hakuouki), Okita Souji/Yukimura Chizuru
Comments: 12
Kudos: 19





	Where the Loyalty Lies

**.*Where the Loyalty Lies*.**

Kondo stood before a wooden gate, his chin tilted up and eyes searching jagged tree branches smattered with green leaves. The start of March was much too early for flowers to be in blossom, but he’d hoped to see them once more in Edo—hoped to see them here, at this small house with its tiny front garden. Fate would have it differently, however, and he was but a mortal bound to its whims.

He shook his head and stepped forward, the gate creaking when he pushed it aside. Ensuring it closed properly once through, Kondo turned at the sound of a small gasp, and his face warmed instantly.

“Yukimura-kun.”

Chizuru had clutched the open doorway and once she heard her name, pushed herself from it in a near bound over the threshold, her feet slipping into sandals and clopping against the circular stone path. “Kondo-san!”

Regarding her fondly, he lifted a light string-tried package and placed it in her hands. “You’re looking very well! It’s good to see you.”

“Mm!! Oh!” Her eyes fell shut and she bowed her head quickly, lifting the package in gratitude. “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to bring anything!”

Still kind as ever, wasn’t she?

“I thought I heard the gate, so I came to look and…” The thought left unfinished, Chizuru sighed and hugged the gift gently to her chest. “I’m so happy you’ve come to visit!”

Kondo nodded graciously. “You’ve really done me a great favor by staying here, Yukimura-kun.”

A vehement shake of the head followed, and a hum in the negative. “Not at all!”

“How is he?”

Chizuru swallowed, her features instantly growing serious at the inquiry. “Okita-san is sleeping right now, but his condition…” Brow furrowing further, she curled his lips in.

“It hasn’t changed.” Kondo’s shoulders lowered and his mouth set in a grim line. “I see.” Such an answer was to be expected, but having to hear it never got any easier.

“I’ve been making sure he eats as much as he can and rests.” She exhaled through her nose. “But still, sometimes he tries to train in the yard and it—” A pause. “It doesn’t usually end well.”

Kondo’s lashes fell in a soft huff, muttering sarcastically beneath his breath, “I wonder where he learned that stubbornness…”

“Kondo-san, please don’t misunderstand.” Spine straightening, Chizuru’s eyes grew determined. “Okita-san is very, _very_ strong and I believe in him. I would never speak badly of him, but his body has certain limits now that his mind just can’t seem to obey. He often talks of rejoining you, and please know there’s nothing either of us would like more, but…”

A warm hand pressed to Chizuru’s shoulder before getting ahead of herself. “Understood, Yukimura-kun,” Kondo said gently. “Maybe if I talk to him?”

“I think it would be a great help.” She lowered her head again in respect for the favor. “Please.” When her face lifted, she gestured toward the small abode. “But for now, please come in. I’ll put some tea on.”

“I take it you’re still making the best tea in the country?”

Her cheeks flushed slightly and she merely shook her head, leading the short way up the walk. “How is your wound? And the others? Hijikata-san?”

At first, Kondo grinned at the barrage of questions. “My shoulder is healing well. As for Toshi, the ages change, but he doesn’t. And the others…” It was then that the smile’s luster faded and his expression fell somber. “It’s a very complicated time, Yukimura-kun. The war is coming to a pivotal point.”

A distant despondency was present in her voice. “I see…” Surely, there was more she’d wished to ask from the way her reply trailed off, but it seemed for now her tongue would be held.

When they reached the porch, each pivoted a half-circle to remove their shoes properly and stepped up. Chizuru officially welcomed Kondo into the home, and ever the one for polite tradition, he excused himself for interrupting her day.

“I’ll go and wake him—”

“Ah—” Kondo’s hand raised. “Please don’t. I’d rather he rest, and I have plenty of time. But I also don’t want to trouble you, so I won’t mind waiting outside.”

She breathed in sharply then. “Oh. A visit from you would _never be_ a burden, Kondo-san. Please, let me show you to the sitting room. Okita-san would want you to be comfortable, and I certainly do too.”

Two pairs of socked feet padded down the hall and the inner shoji opened to a space filled with sunlight. A table and two zabuton cushions rested on the tatami, and Chizuru held a hand out for Kondo to sit. She carefully slid the outer doors open so they wouldn’t make too much noise along the track, and excused herself to brew the promised tea.

Alone, Kondo sat seiza before the table and looked around. The house was old and sparsely decorated, but Chizuru had done well keeping it clean and tidy. Hanging on the wall near a closet was the red flag of sincerity—the hallmark and banner of the Shinsengumi—and seeing it inspired a warmth to spread in Kondo’s chest.

Chizuru had been brought into all of their lives by some incidental whim, and quickly became one of them: a fellow servant to Tokugawa and a genuine friend to all. Now, as Kondo had spent the last days in deliberation at Edo Castle and the rest of his men lay in wait for official battle orders, she was still an invaluable help; without her, Okita would be saddled with some unfamiliar attendant (or perhaps, correctly, that attendant would be saddled with _him_ ), and that could only end in disaster.

He closed his eyes, listening to the porch chime jingling softly in the breeze—listened to the singing of birds and a cat crying in the distance. How pleasant it was here, and peaceful…how so far removed from the miseries that had been endured and would continue to be. Gen-san would have liked such a quiet place, and Yamazaki-kun as well.

Their losses cut deeply; their deaths would never not bring a crushing heaviness to Kondo’s chest, would never not mar his heart with an unbearable hurt. Yet, these irreplaceable two wouldn’t be the last to slip through his hands like sand in the wind, not by far. Especially not now.

Katsu Kaishu’s decree had been final; the Shinsengumi was to be renamed to Kouyo-Chinbutai and then deployed to take Koufu Castle from Satcho hold. Even if they’d managed to recruit on the way, Kondo’s forces would be, at best, outnumbered by ten-to-one. It was clear there was no longer any need for him or his men—not here in the east, after the shogun abdicated without so much of a fight. Katsu had therefore stripped them of their beloved identity with a new meaningless name, and given the commander and his loyal followers a battlefield to die on.

They would begin moving out toward this graveyard in just four days. Four days: to get all affairs aligned, to neaten up anything that required final attentions, to see the people who should be seen… And that’s what had brought Kondo here on this afternoon.

It was imperative that he spend time with Okita and Chizuru to have the memories to savor, but also not give away too many details about why. Until his diagnosis, Okita had been at his side since the Shieikan days, and though the years didn’t match, Kondo thought of him as a son. He’d grown up under his watch, learned about the blade and the world from him, followed him all the way to Kyoto to lend his sword…

If Okita were to know of the new orders, he would surely demand to rush into battle in his fragile condition, and therefore right into the arms of a premature death. Kondo didn’t want that—not for any of his men, and certainly not for the one he’d practically raised.

The breeze whispered by again and he turned his face toward the door. When his lashes parted, it was to the image of a brilliant white in the garden and the breath caught in his throat. Kondo stood and walked slowly across the tatami to the porch, his eyes focused on a single flower that had blossomed early. The petals were fully open, the pistil golden and heavily dusted with pollen.

One flower had defied all the odds. One flower had become the miracle of the garden.

Kondo crossed his arms and silently mused upon it, until Chizuru poked her head in the open inner doorway.

“Kondo-san, excuse me.”

He turned to see her lips pulling into a soft smile.

“Okita-san is awake.”

~

Green eyes snapped wide open and the top cover flew from Okita’s body from how quickly he sat up in his futon. “K— _Kondo-san_?!”

“Souji!” Kondo wore a large grin as he ducked to enter the room, and then held his palm up. “Wait, wait. Don’t get up. I’ll come to you.”

“You came to visit!”

A laugh rumbled deep from Kondo’s chest as he sat cross-legged at Okita’s bedside and reached forth to muss his hair. “That’s right! Now tell me. How are you feeling?”

Okita lifted his chin and his eyes fell closed for a moment. “ _Perfectly_ fine!” They opened again. “Like I could take on the world.”

Chuckling again, Kondo smoothed out his hakamashita as he settled comfortably back. He was certain it wasn’t true, but wouldn’t deny him of a little optimism. “I’m glad to hear that. I see Yukimura-kun is taking very good care of you.”

“Chizuru-chan?” Okita smirked. “I guess you could say we’re getting along all right.”

“Just all right?” His gaze turning fatherly stern, Kondo fixed him with it. “You’d better not be making trouble for her.”

In the hall, the person in question giggled quietly and then entered the room. “Okita-san isn’t troublesome.”

“Hn?” Okita sang through slit-like eyes. “Are you _really_ sure about that, Chizuru-chan?”

“Of course.” Chizuru placed a tray with a teapot and three cups down next to Kondo. She carefully poured out the sencha, tiny tendrils of steam drifting upward, and then offered one to each man.

“Ah, thank you, Yukimura-kun. I’ve missed your tea.” Kondo brought the cup close to his nose and breathed in the calming scent. “If it’s not too much of a burden, would you bring the gift in?”

“Certainly! I’ll be right back.”

“A gift?” Okita’s eyes twinkled, his hands surrounding his own served tea tightly to appreciate its warmth. “Is it Hijikata-san here to badger me with that dirt he calls medicine?”

Kondo exhaled and shook his head. “Can’t say it is, Souji.”

There was a pause. “He didn’t come with you.”

Schooling his features to remain neutral, Kondo replied, “Toshi is currently embroiled with some red tape.” His shoulders crept up in a slight shrug. “We’ve been meeting a lot with officials to discuss the imminent future.”

“…And?” Okita sat up taller. “Is there any plan for us to enter the fight again?”

 _Us_ …

“No.” Kondo sipped the tea slowly, so not to burn his tongue. “ _Ue-sama_ has abdicated as you know, but there’s no consensus or decision yet on the fate of the campaign.” …It was a half-truth. The highest ranks on the Tokugawa side were in disarray and split right down the middle, arguing over their ultimate fate to either fight on or acquiesce.

Kondo had been part of these debates—something he now understood to have deeply upset individuals like Katsu and perhaps even His Highness Tokugawa Yoshinobu himself. After all, the shogun had fled Osaka smack in the middle of a battle that would have been won if only the soldiers had his words of support to inflame their hearts. Instead, he’d quietly sailed back to Edo on Katsu’s vessel, each likely assuming the army they’d abandoned in the west would thin out in disarray and die. And there had been Kondo: calling that bluff by arriving at an eastern port with the majority of his men behind him ever ready and willing to serve. It was likely the largest factor for why they’d been damned to a hopeless mission in Katsunuma. Still, he and his had been loyal servants from the start and nothing—even a death sentence—would change that resolve.

Okita studied him. “So there’s really no plan for battle yet…” A sigh fell from his lips. “I see.”

“Right. Well, Toshi should be able to stop by soon. He worries about you.” Kondo gave a rub to Okita’s nearest shoulder. “We all do, of course.”

Shrugging, Okita blew out a breath and peered out the open doors. “Tell him not to bother.”

“Come on, Souji.”

“He’s probably having the time of his life without me around to keep him in check.”

“Hey.” Kondo’s grasp tightened, not to cause pain but enough to bring Okita’s attention back. “Don’t talk about him that way. Everyone is under immense pressure, especially him.” Exhaling, Kondo let his hand fall into his lap. “I’ve asked you a million times in the past to cut him slack, and I’ll ask you it again right now. _Especially_ now.”

“Fine, fine…” The reply was airy. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m just glad to see _you_ , Kondo-san.”

“Everyone asked me to send their regards today.” A sad smile twitched at the corners of Kondo’s lips. “We all miss having you around, but the most important thing is that you recover.” He nodded, raising his brow in emphasis. “Ne?”

Before a reply could come, Chizuru excused herself and entered the room with the package. She held it out to Kondo, but he simply tilted his head toward Souji. “Why don’t the both of you open it together?”

Kneeling in seiza at the opposite side of the futon, Chizuru put the wrapped box in Okita’s waiting hands and began untying the string and fabric, a high-pitched gasp leaving her when the inner plethora of sweets was revealed: dango, konpeito, yokan, and anko-filled manjuu. Tucked to the side was matcha.

“Aa?! Kondo-san!” Okita’s face lit up.

“I know how much you both enjoy sweets,” Kondo said with a chuckle. “I hope you can enjoy these together.”

“How wonderful!” Chizuru exclaimed. “Thank you so, so much!”

“It’s been such a long time!” Grinning, Okita glanced up from the gift. “Thank you!”

“Feel like eating some now?” Kondo asked. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Okita’s eyes found Chizuru’s, and they looked to each other in excitement for several moments before he grinned. “I’d like that a lot.” He held the box to Kondo. “But, Kondo-san, you pick first, all right?”

He closed his eyes for a beat and held up a hand. “I’m fine with just tea. Really. Go ahead, please.”

Without even having to ask which he wanted, Chizuru picked up a stick of golden floured dango and handed it to Okita, and then helped herself to a serving of yokan, placed on a small dish.

Kondo watched happily as they ate, the pair reveling in enjoyment of their favorite treats again…until Okita inhaled a bit of the powder from his dango. A small cough racked his body, then building more intense with another and another, until the dango fell to his blanket and he threw a hand before his mouth. Chizuru’s eyes widened and she nearly dropped her dish, rising high on her knees with a hand pressing to his shoulder and back. “Okita-san!”

“Souji!” Grabbing his teacup, Kondo leaned forward and offered it, but the fit quickly died down at that point. However, when it stopped, Okita kept his lips covered. His eyes refused to meet either’s. “Souji…”

Chizuru slowly sank back down, her own gaze falling to nothing in particular on the futon. Staring at that one point, she reached into her kimono and presented a handkerchief, only looking to Okita when he hadn’t moved to take it. At last, his hand slowly dropped, revealing the blood he’d hacked up. The folded cloth was accepted and he wiped at his mouth, then cleaned his hand.

Everyone remained silent, both Okita and Chizuru frozen in place as Kondo’s attention shot from one to the other. Finally, he took hold of the nearest arm out of concern. “Souji, are you—”

“I can still fight.” It came out as a whisper.

Kondo’s lips parted but he said nothing, only leaned back into his own space.

“I can still _fight_ , Kondo-san!” Okita insisted loudly then, his eyes filled with emotion as they lifted to him.

“Okita-san—”

He ripped himself away from Chizuru’s touch, as if it burned him. “I can still be useful to you if you’d let me!”

Kondo’s brow furrowed at the action and subsequent hurt displayed openly across her face in the aftermath. “Souji.” A deep breath filled his lungs. “Souji, I want you to listen to me. Please.” He dipped his chin and repeated calmly, “ _Please_.”

Shaking his head quickly, Okita held tightly to the cover and his voice nearly trembled. “Don’t tell me I’m not, Kondo-san. Please don’t say that, I—”

“ _You are_.” Kondo’s eyes squinted and he leaned in. “Souji, you’ve _always_ been there for me. You’ve been my sword, my best friend, my brother-in-arms… You grew up with me, you’re an irreplaceable part of my life.” Fingers brushed displaced bangs from Okita’s sweat-beaded forehead back to where they belonged. “You’ve always looked out for me. And now it’s my turn to do the same for you. Why can’t you understand that?”

His lashes falling, Okita faced forward and shook his head again—slowly at first, until his teeth gritted and he threw the cover from his body. “I’m no good to you if I just stay here… _decaying_ in this fucking house!”

“Then are you good to me dead?!”

Chizuru’s eyes snapped to Kondo when he uncharacteristically raised his voice, at the severity of the question he’d asked. Fingertips pressed to her lips and she sank back.

“Would that be better, Souji?” Kondo pressed. “Would it?” At the head of the futon lay Okita’s sheathed blades, neatly resting in their rack, and when Kondo looked to them, his entire demeanor crumbled. “ _Why_ do you think you have no value unless there’s a sword in your hand? Will you tell me that? Is it something _I_ taught you at some point as an instructor? Because if it is—”

“ _No_.” Okita grabbed the sleeve of Kondo’s haori, his gaze nearly pleading. “No, you didn’t. It’s not your…”

“I know this situation is the worst possible thing that could have happened to you. I _know that_.” A hand covered Okita’s cold fingers still holding to his attire. “But I need you to get better. And in order for you to do that, you have to rest. All right? Rest, eat good food, listen to Yukimura-kun’s directions.” Kondo gave him a shake. “That’s what I want most from you. Can you do that for me?”

Okita was silent for several moments. “Kondo-san…” Another pause, thoughtful and solemn, followed. “Please promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“When it’s time for the Shinsengumi to move…when we’re ordered into battle…” Green eyes found his. “Please promise you’ll call for me.”

A deep breath left Kondo’s lungs and his tongue poked out to wet his lips. Tipping his head forward, he relented. “It’s a promise.”

His voice growing soft, Okita released the haori. “Thank you.” He reached for the wayward blanket and began to neatly fold it. “I’m sorry for all this. It’s just—”

“You don’t have to apologize. Or explain, it’s—it’s all right.”

Okita glanced at Chizuru, her face remaining angled down. “Sorry, Chizuru-chan. Do you think you could wrap these sweets up for now?”

Silently, she nodded without making eye contact and did as she was asked.

Sunlight had been steadily creeping across the tatami and when she stood, its presence was more noticeable. Okita turned his head toward the open shoji. “Ne, Kondo-san…” His eyes narrowed a little as he continued to look out into the garden. “Do you think we could sit outside for a little? Before the sun goes down?”

“Of course.”

Both men stood, and despite that they were just steps away from the porch, Okita still reached for his swords.

~

By the time Kondo returned to the barracks, it was long after dark. He acknowledged the two men standing guard at the entrance, and took the direct route to his quarters. A candle flickered within the room and when he pushed the shoji aside, it was to the sight of Hijikata sitting in silence. Their eyes met, but neither said anything.

Kondo shut the doors behind him and removed his swords, placing them on the rack. He walked over, sat next to Hijikata with his back pressed to the wall, and closed his eyes as fingers loosely clasped before him. Soon after, he felt a hand pressing to his and his lashes parted.

“He’s that bad,” Hijikata stated instead of asking.

Shaking his head, Kondo’s mouth pulled taut. “Toshi…” His latticed digits separated to entwine with Hijikata’s own. “I don’t know what’s worse right now, his body or his mind.”

A dismal sigh fell to his right.

“He tried to act like he was mad that you didn’t come with me.” Kondo peered up vacantly across the room at nothing in particular. “But I know him well enough to see through it. He isn’t. He misses you.” His head slowly nodded then. “And he knows something is going on.”

“I see…” Hijikata breathed out, remaining pensive for a beat. “And Yukimura?”

“She’s holding it together, and forever doing right by us.”

Another exhale fell. “Right. Good.”

“Toshi.” A pause. “When you visit Souji, would you do something for me?” Kondo’s chin lifted then and he found the look in those amethyst eyes that was reserved solely for him. “Would you bring the uniform we had made for him?”

Brows knitting inward, Hijikata’s lips parted, but he was interrupted before the words could even tumble forth.

“I promised that I’d call for him when we’re mobilized.” Kondo’s lashes fell and he tilted his head, guilt present in his tone. “I lied right to his face.” They parted again then. “But if I hadn’t, he would’ve clawed his way back here to follow me and that…I can’t have that on my conscience. This is the least I can do to atone for it.”

Hijikata listened silently to the confession, and when he replied, it was in a soft voice. “I understand. I’ll make sure I have it with me when I go.”

“You know, Matsumoto-sensei said he’d have a year, maybe less. With Yukimura-kun looking after him though, I can’t help feeling it could be more. She’s so kind and caring. But if it were up to Souji, himself…”

“He’d throw everything away in a single morning if you called on him. I know.” Pulling his hand free, Hijikata shuffled forward on his knees to the desk on which a vessel and two cups rested. He poured a drink out and offered it.

“Thanks.” Kondo gazed down at his reflection in the alcohol, and let the emotions come as they would without a fight. They were on the brink of losing it all, riding on the coattails of glory and fame and coming to the end of this wild, amazing ride. “…Toshi. Thank you.”

Sake trickled into the other cup and Hijikata returned with his own fix. “What for?”

“What for…?” Kondo reiterated, rubbing the exhaustion from his face and breathed out. “I couldn’t have made it this far without you. None of us could have.”

“Kat-chan.” For a moment it seemed he was say no more, but then, “Let’s not do this again.”

“Very well. Sorry.” Kondo tossed his head back quickly, downing the entirety of the sake.

“Because you know…” His second’s voice had gone quiet as he placed his cup down. “You already know the reason why.” Their eyes met then, and Kondo thought he might drown in the fathomless emotion of the pools he gazed into. “You do.”

He reached to brush a hand over Hijikata’s cheek and slowly leaned in until they breathed the same breath. “I do, Toshi,” Kondo whispered. And the space became none between their lips.

~

Okita stared at a rhinestone paradise of stars glittering in the darkness. He sat, one foot perched on the edge of the porch and the other thrown over the side. The tip of his sheathed sword was pressed to the floorboards, his arm extended and grip tight on the shaft.

“Okita-san…”

A small voice pulled him from his thoughts and he looked over his shoulder, lowering the sword to rest close by. “Chizuru-chan.”

She approached slowly and draped a blanket over his shoulders. “Please be warm.”

After the incident during Kondo’s visit, she’d been unusually quiet and reserved. Dinner was eaten with very little said and now Chizuru was mid-step in turning from him, still without another word. Okita’s hand flew out suddenly and latched to hers, fingertips catching fingertips.

“ _Stay_.” When she looked unsurely down to find his eyes, Okita’s chin lowered in a nod. “Stay.”

The tension in their arms loosened as Chizuru closed the space between them and sat at his side. He pulled the edge of the blanket over her. “Chizuru-chan, I’ve caused you a lot of headaches here, haven’t I?”

“No.” Her shoulders raised higher, appreciating the warmth of cover. “That’s not true at all.”

A hum. “Do you know why samurai have to fight?”

“Bushido.” The answer came fast.

“Honor, living by a code, loyalty, duty…” Okita rattled these words off as if they were empty as he turned his attention back to the sky. “It’s really just about purpose.”

“That…makes sense.”

“Kondo-san gave me purpose a long time ago, back when I was some snarky brat who gave everyone hell…back when he took me in as one of his own without question.” Licking his lips, Okita paused in thought. “He taught me his sword style and trained me to master it, taught me about all the things a samurai and a man should be. And I’m forever in his debt.”

Chizuru said nothing at first, and in Okita’s peripheral vision, he could see her worried curiosity. “That’s why you push yourself so hard, isn’t it?”

“Mm.” He smiled then, his gaze dropping to the moonlit yard. “To me, repaying him for saving me meant living only for his sake…living just to be useful to him. I can’t just go back on that because I got sick. Do you understand?”

“…Even at the cost of your life?”

“Even at the cost of my life.”

Silence.

“Even so, I’ve been jealous of Hijikata-san for a long time, you know. I might be special to Kondo-san, but that man…he owns his heart. He’s the closest person to him, closer even than I am and could ever hope to be. And for the longest time, I’ve resented him for that.” Okita swallowed. “I _resented_ him. He would do anything, sacrifice anything for Kondo-san, just like I would. And I couldn’t stand it. It made me so infuriated that I sometimes wanted to just punch him for being in my way.” His demeanor changed, grew lighter. “But then some woman dressed in men’s clothing showed up at our place and I realized, maybe too late, that the feelings are different. They’ve always been different.”

“Different…?” Chizuru gazed at him. “What do you mean?”

“Chizuru-chan, if I’m honest, you’ve taught me some important things too. And I wonder these days…” His eyes fell half-lidded and he at last looked back to her. “Is it possible to be so indebted to two people on such different paths?”

“Okita-sa—”

“Don’t you think it’s about time you called me Souji?”

“…S—Souji-san.” Chizuru’s hands clasped tightly in her lap. “I don’t know the answer to your question. And I don’t know where you’re going with this, but you’re not _indebted_ to me. I just—” She bit her lip. “I don’t want you to die.”

“Why?”

She turned her head away, her voice growing with upset. “How could you ask me that?! Because you’re important to the Shinsengumi! Because I promised Kondo-san and Hijikata-san that I would—”

“No.” Okita cupped Chizuru’s cheek and coaxed her back to him. “It’s because you know what it’s like, living for the sake of someone else out of love. Right?”

Her mouth opened, but no words came forth.

“Chizuru-chan.” His gaze was fierce, his hand remaining on her cheek as he leaned in. “I love the two people who taught me about life. I love them in different ways, and it's conflicted me for so long. But right now…” Okita stopped just before his lips touched hers. “I think I finally made sense of everything.”

He kissed her then—softly, gently. Okita felt her smaller palm pressing to his knuckles, and when he withdrew, he found tears welling in her eyes.

“Chizuru-chan, I can’t stop being a samurai. I can’t abandon Kondo-san.” Caressing her face, he pulled his lips into a line. “But I want to make you happy, too. So will you stay with me? Will you help me fight this awful disease?”

“Always.” Two pearly drops broke free from her lashes and rolled down her cheeks. “I will _always_ be with you.”

Okita brushed them both away. “You know I’ll have to join him again at some point to fight at his side, no matter my condition?”

Chizuru nodded, a tremble in her voice. “I know.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “But until then…”

Her lips pulled into her cheeks with a smile that was both tense and genuine. “Together.” Trembling, she held to his hand tighter. “We’ll stay together no matter what.”

“I’ll come back to you, Chizuru.”

“I know.” Chizuru closed her eyes for a moment. “I know you will, Souji.”

They fell over to the porch then, Okita’s hand cradling her head to protect her from the impact. He gazed down at Chizuru, stroked a fingertip over her features, and leaned in. Their lips met again in the first of many kisses, of many days, of many years to come.

He would live on, no matter what, to ensure that.

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks for reading! <3
> 
> Disclaimer: This was written on characterizations I picked up while watching the show. I've played Hakuouki for an entirety of 30 minutes, so I'm not familiar at all with Okita's route...or any route for that matter! I know Okita is the fandom sweetheart, so I apologize for any out of character mistakes. (Please don't kill me lmao)
> 
> The fic started out as gen. I originally just was writing about Kondo being Best Dad to Okita and Chizuru...but then Toshisami and Okichi demanded presence as I was working on it. They want what they want, the characters! XD


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